The Single’s Guide to Slow Dances

There are so many trends and attitudes that bother me about culture when it comes to love and romance that I’m starting to sense a theme in my posts, but there are enough things and paradigms that bother me that it is hard not to write on them. When you are in a relationship and a slow song comes on at whatever function you are dancing at, dancing with your partner is a no-brainer (granted that both partners are at said function). However, what if you are single? What happens then?

Many of you know that I grew up as a homeschooler, and I don’t know if it is this way anywhere else (I highly assume so), but nothing could send the high schoolers into a chaotic emotional frenzy like a slow song coming on at a dance. Single guys viewed it as if by asking a girl to dance they were signing their soul away, and girls viewed it as if the guy asking was madly in love with them. I think this is a completely ridiculous perspective, and I want to give some advice to each gender that you can put into practice whenever you are at a dance, wedding or other function where a slow song comes on.

Gentlemen: asking a girl to dance is not a marriage proposal, do not think of it as one. If you are at a function by yourself and a slow song comes on, I think asking a girl to dance who is there by herself or with friends is an extremely classy thing to do. My brother (who would blush if he read this) is an awesome example of this: when he was single and attended dances in high school, he would intentionally ask girls who were without a date to dance so that they would not have to sit out and so they would feel included. Asking a girl to dance does not necessarily mean that you want to start dating her or are even romantically interested in her; it simply means that you are being a gentleman and keeping her from having to sit out for a dance.

Ladies: a man asking you to dance is not a marriage proposal, do not think of it as one. It can be so easy to get caught up in the moment and let your emotions brainstorm like crazy, but restrain yourself. A gentleman asking you to dance can definitely be a sign of interest, but it is not THE sign of interest. Your best response is to accept (or politely decline if you are not interested) and enjoy yourself.

Let’s all remember that for centuries, dances such as the waltz were seen as a social thing; romantic intent was rarely linked to it at all. In this day and age when most dances are to some obscene pop song with people jumping around and labeling it as ‘dancing’, let’s do our best to cling to whatever classiness we have left, and that is generally through slow dancing. Oh, and as a final note, do not let your ability keep you from dancing. It is so much more fun to look like a dork while enjoying yourself on the dance floor instead of sitting on the sidelines to try and keep your ‘dignity’ intact.


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