When Relationships Crumble

2015 has had many different themes play out in my life. Some are positive, such as the theme of ‘self-control’. However, the most common theme that has played out in my life in the past months is the one of losing or purposely breaking off relationships.

Being completely transparent, words cannot express how hard it is for me to just suddenly (or even gradually) stop ‘being friends’ with someone. To stop getting coffee with them, texting them to find out how they’re doing, going to events with them. I have a really hard time giving up on people, and so I fight for friendships for as long as I can, and then mourn the loss of the relationship for quite some time. Even today as I was driving home from class I got to thinking about the people I won’t be spending time with this holiday season, and there was definitely a lump in my throat.

Whether the people who aren’t there anymore walked away from the friendship or whether they were dear to me yet toxic in my life and I had to cut ties, losing a friend or even just stopping contact with a friend is one of the hardest things in my life. Yet, time and time again, God has encouraged me with a simple phrase: “It’s okay.” He tells me this repeatedly every single time I think about someone and start to mourn, or if I start to think about how I could have changed things and kept a friendship intact. “It’s okay.”

If you are struggling through this alongside me, cling to that simple fact as well. Ecclesiastes talks about different seasons in our lives, and as hard as it is, God has made very clear to me in the past months that some people stay in our lives while some are only supposed to be here for a season. If a relationship ends, try to make right what is wrong if it ended messily or sinfully, but cling to the fact that it is okay to not have people in your life forever, and continue to step forward.

Some of the relationships that have broken in my life may mend and I may gain contact with those people once more. However, some will not, so I am going to continue to move forward in faith and realize that God will provide for my every need, and that includes placing the people I need in my life at just the right time. Ultimately, I am going to abide in Christ, because he is the one who fills the void in my life and enables me to fully be in community with those around me.


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