As a precursor to this article, I am not married. I also am not in a relationship. This may disqualify me from writing about anything regarding marriage in some reader’s eyes. However, I feel like the lack of attachment to any one particular individual at this time has given me open eyes to this subject.
So many Millennial followers of Christ have excellent and lofty ideas about marriage. They know that they want to marry somebody who loves Jesus, and they often have wonderful lists of necessary qualities in their future spouse. This is all well and good, but I feel like so frequently, something is missing.
When you marry someone, your lives are fused together; you become one. This means that although you both still have an individual relationship with Christ, the two relationships are now melded in an intricate way. You no longer serve Christ as a normal individual; you serve him as someone who is both an individual and who is one flesh with another individual.
Why is it that although so many Christians want to marry other people who are Christians, so few actually think about how they will follow Jesus in conjunction with this other person? I’m not simply talking about doctrinal issues (although those are important); how is the day-to-day going to look? Are you marrying someone you can pray with, worship with, talk about scripture with, and serve wholeheartedly with? Are you both called in the same ministerial direction?
Look, it is wonderful to find someone who loves Jesus and has solid theology, but unless you can follow Christ alongside that person, it doesn’t mean anything. When you marry someone, you’re not only gaining a spouse-you’re gaining a partner for ministry. You’re gaining someone who you’re going to follow Jesus WITH for the rest of your life.
Is it easy to pray with that person? Can you hold open and candid conversations about scripture? Do you serve together, or do you complement each other in service? If you’re not in a current relationship, think about these things before you begin one. If you ARE in a relationship, process these questions honestly.
As followers of Christ, marriage has a whole new dimension. Not only are we reflecting the Christ and his bride, the Church, through marriage, but we are pursuing Christ in a whole new way with someone else. This is to be taken seriously. Folks, for the health of your future marriages, the Church, and your personal relationship with Christ, please take the time to seriously think about marriage as a form of ministry.